Saturday, 13 September 2014

Doctor Who: Listen



YOU GUYS. I feel like I’ve been waiting YEARS for this episode! OH WAIT, I HAVE! Not since series five’s Vincent and the Doctor have I been this impressed, this touched, this emotional, and this much in love with Doctor Who. THIS WAS AN AMAZING EPISODE. MOFFAT IS BACK, BAYBEE. THE MAN IS A GENIUS. I’M SO SORRY I FORGOT THAT.

I mean, to tie in the War Doctor’s barn with this episode is just BRILLIANT! And Capaldi! MY GOD, CAPALDI! He KILLED IT in this episode! If you weren’t sure about him as the Doctor before, you HAVE to be now! He epitomized everything the Doctor is, and it was beautiful!

And if you missed it, Moffat went right back to episode one, The Unearthly Child, when Clara said, “Fear makes a companion of us all.” The very First Doctor said that exact same thing to Barbara. 

Isn’t that just perfect? Damn, I love it when Moffat does this to me! I’d let myself forget how he can make me feel! I LOVE STEVEN MOFFAT, YOU GUYS. DON’T LET ME FORGET AGAIN.
This is going to be an instant classic, and it’s now easily in my top five favourite episodes!

QUICK, LET US DISCUSS THIS THING OF BEAUTY! *queue angels singing*

Listen”, is how we open, and listen is what we’ll do. The Doctor meditates on the top of the TARDIS as it floats above a planet—earth?

Inside the TARDIS, the Doctor wonders to himself why we talk out loud when we’re alone. He believes it’s because we’re never alone. How scary is THAT thought?!

He maintains that there’s perfect hunting, perfect defense…so why no perfect hiding? I mean, we’d never know if there was a creature that was the perfect hider, right? So…he wants to find it, of course!

He puts his chalk down as he talks to himself…or to whatever may be listening…but when he reaches for it again, it’s gone. We then see it on the floor, where it rolls into his foot. As he stands and glances at the empty chalkboard—it’s not empty anymore. The word, “Listen” is written….

COOL OPENING CREDITS TIME!

At Clara’s, she’s apparently had a horrible, horrible date with Danny. Okay, I’ma say this: I wish there didn’t have to be a romance in this show. Why is it that as soon as the Doctor regenerated into someone older, they had to add a handsome younger love interest for Clara? Ugh. Regardless, here he is, and I do like him.

During the date, Clara and Danny get on well, at first. Then they both stick their feet further and further into their mouths, and they just fight. Like, a lot. About everything. It’s weird.

Clara ends up storming off, and finds the Doctor hiding in her bedroom at home. He needs Clara for a “thing”, and she joins him in the TARDIS.  He explains his theory about a silent, hidden companion. What if no one is ever alone?

He shows her the “listen” written on the chalkboard. Clara says it looks like his handwriting. However, he says he doesn’t remember writing it…

He then explains about a certain nightmare everyone has; waking alone, in the dark. Putting your feet on the floor, and someone from under your bed grabbing your ankle…Doesn’t everyone have this dream? The Doctor has, Clara has, hell, even I have!

To find out when Clara has had this dream, the Doctor links her with the TARDIS. I didn’t know that could be done. Neat.

Clara needs to focus on when she had the dream, but her phone rings as she’s trying to concentrate.
The TARDIS lands and the Doctor is certain they’re in the right place. It’s a children’s home, in the mid-90s. The year is right.

The Doctor goes inside, and tells Clara to wait inside the TARDIS. Instead, she looks up to see a boy in a window. He calls to her, and they talk. He tells her his name is Rupert Pink, but that he wants to change it….Yup, she’s landed in DANNY’s childhood, not her own!

She sneaks inside to talk little Rupert-Danny as the Doctor is speaking to the night watchman (OH, HAI PSYCHIC PAPER!).

As Clara bonds with scared little Rupert under his bed, the springs creak as if someone sits on it. When they emerge, the bedspread takes the form of a person. THIS PART IS SO FREAKING CREEPY.

The Doctor has been watching from the chair, where he was trying to find Waldo in a book. Apparently Waldo, who’s called Wally in the UK, ISN’T in every book. WHAT THE HELL?!
He tells Rupert that being scared is like having a superpower. It makes a person stronger, faster, smarter, and the being scared is absolutely okay.

He guides them to the window. He tells Rupert and Clara to turn their backs on the thing under the bedspread; to not look at it, and to promise to never look at it. The bedspread monster pulls the bedspread off—we only get a blurry glimpse of what’s underneath—and then it runs out the door. DAT WAS THE CREEPIEST BEDSPREAD I’VE EVER SEEN.

Clara helps Rupert feel braver by using plastic soldiers. She places them so that they’ll watch over him as he sleeps. Rupert calls the head soldier, “Dan the soldier man”. The Doctor puts Rupert to sleep, and the two leave his timeline.

Back on the TARDIS, the Doctor wonders why the TARDIS landed at Rupert’s dream instead of Clara’s.  Clara lies/doesn’t tell him, and the Doctor mentions that Rupert won’t remember a thing because he gave the child a dream about being, “Dan the soldier man”. So, um, the Doctor pretty much made Danny Pink who he is. Ha!

Clara has the Doctor take her back to the end of her date with Danny, and she goes back in to try to fix things. She fails, but this time Danny’s the one who storms off, because he knows that Clara is lying about, well, pretty much everything.

Oddly, a man in a spacesuit, complete with full face mask—much like the Doctor’s familiar orange spacesuit!—beckons to Clara from the kitchen of the restaurant. Clara follows, where she finds, not the Doctor in the suit, but a man who looks exactly like Danny! The Doctor enters and explains that the man is Orson Pink, and he’s from one hundred years into her future.  The Doctor has used some of Clara’s psychic whatever stuff, and that brought him to Orson. So Orson must have something to do with Clara’s timeline. HAHAHAHA! Okay, so we’re supposed to think Clara and Danny have kids, hmm? That’s adorable!

The Doctor brings Clara back to where he found Orson—the end of the universe. No, not like in Utopia, a different end of the universe. The TARDIS isn’t supposed to go there, but he’d turned the safeguards off to bring them into Clara’s past earlier.

The Doctor explains that Orson is the very first time traveller, but he was over shot. Like, way over shot. He’s been stranded for 6 months, and the Doctor promises to take him home.

The Doctor tells Orson that the TARDIS needs to recharge, and so they need to stay where they are for one night. Orson doesn’t like that idea.

Clara puts him into the TARDIS to be safe, and from his bag falls a small toy soldier. Yep, it’s Dan the Soldier Man! A family heirloom that brings luck, as Orson explains.

Orson tells Clara that time travel runs in the family. According to a story, one of his great-grandparents was a time traveller. Orson gives the toy soldier to Clara.

Outside the TARDIS, Clara and the Doctor wait for whatever Orson was afraid of. Orson’s ship starts to make noise, clangs and bangs, and the Doctor explains them away. Temperature changes, pressure changes, systems switching to low power…But, of course, he doesn’t believe that.

Suddenly, there’s a knocking on the hatch—or is it the hull cooling? The Doctor needs to see, and unlocks the hatch. He orders Clara into the TARDIS, but he stays. He has to know…

Clara watches on the TARDIS viewer, which craps out as she watches. An alarm on Orson’s ship goes off. The hull has been breached. The Doctor holds on for dear life as things are sucked out. Orson grabs him and pulls him into the TARDIS.

The Doctor was hit on the head, and he’s unconscious. The cloister bell rings as the TARDIS shakes, and Clara once again joins with the TARDIS to try to get them home. They land, and Clara exits to see where they are.

It’s a barn full of hay. In a bed in a small loft, a child is crying. As she’s about to comfort the child, a man and woman enter, and Clara hides beneath the bed.

The man and woman remark on the crying child, and why he sleeps in the barn. The child doesn’t want anyone to hear that he cries. The woman tells the child that he’s welcome to sleep in the house, and that he’s not alone. As they leave, the man says that the boy can’t just run away and cry all the time if he wants to join the army. The woman says that the boy doesn’t want to join the army, and the man says, “Well he’s not going to the academy, is he? He’ll never make a Time Lord.” Right around here is when I started screaming. Like, literally screaming, “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING THAT’S, WHAT, OH MY GODDDDDDDD”. My dogs freaked out. It was horrible. I scared the whole house. And then I started crying.

The Doctor in the TARDIS wakes, and yells for Clara. The boy hears, and calls out a, “Hello?”  Clara has also realized who the crying boy is, and as the boy puts his feet on the floor, she grabs his ankle. SHE GRABS HIS FREAKING ANKLE. SHE’S THE DREAM, YOU GUYS. IT WAS HER ALL ALONG!

She realizes what she’s done, and she tells the boy it’s all a dream. The boy lies back down in his bed, and Clara comforts him. We never get to see his face, which I’m VERY okay with, and she tells him to listen. She tells him she knows he’s afraid, and that being afraid is alright. Fear is a superpower that makes you cleverer, and stronger. And one day, he’s going to come back to this barn, (YOU GUYS, I’M SOBBING NOW. I CAN’T EVEN……MOFFAT, YOU DAMN GENIUS.) and he’s going to be very afraid. As we see the War Doctor walking to the barn—because when you’re afraid, you often go to the place that’s comforting and familiar and safe—Clara tells him that, on that day, if he’s very wise, and very strong, fear doesn’t have to make him cruel or cowardly, fear can make him kind. Clara tells him there’s nothing under the bed, or in the dark, and she tells him that it’s okay to be afraid. He’s always going to be afraid, but fear is like a constant companion. It’s always there, and that’s okay, because fear can bring people together, and fear can bring people home. And she leaves him Dan the Soldier Man so that he remembers that, “Fear makes companions of us all.” (SOBBING. JUST UGLY, UGLY SOBBING. THE SAME THING ONE SAID TO BARBARA. THE SAME FREAKING THING. EXACT WORDS. EXACT!)

On the TARDIS, the Doctor asks where they are. Clara tells him to leave; to just not look, and leave. He doesn’t like it, but trusts her, and leaves.

They drop Danny off in his time and say goodbye.

Then Clara hugs the Doctor, and he’s against the hugging. And I’m still freaking crying, but now I’m laugh-crying. It’s a huge mess. I’m a blubbering fool. It’s awesome. I love it.

Then Clara rings the bell at Danny’s, and the two make up, and smooch.

IT WAS THE SAME FREAKING BARN YOU GUYS. THE.SAME. BARN. AHHHHHHHHH THAT’S SO PERFECT. THAT WAS PERFECT WRITING. THAT WAS PERFECT EVERYTHING.

Okay, so who else is sure that Dan the Soldier Man is going to come into play again very soon, when both Danny and the Doctor pull him out of their pockets?! Ha!

Now, I’m hearing some grumbling about this episode. Some say that it’s all about Clara, again,  (It’s so not), and many just didn’t understand it. To those of you that feel this way, please watch it again. Please. If you still feel this way, than I guess you’re probably a Moffat-hating person, and there’s nothing I can say to change your mind.

To those of you who loved it, my kindred spirits, I adore you. You get it, and you get me. I heart you guys! ♥

I’ve also heard a few people asking these questions:
-Who was under the sheet?
 It was just a kid playing a joke. Another student trying to play a trick on Rupert. Nothing more, nothing less.

-Who moved the chalk?
No one, it fell. Stuff falls.

-Who made the noises?
No one, it was exactly the things the Doctor said it was. Pressure, temperature. Houses creak, spaceships clang.
Regardless, who cares?! Like in the episode, Midnight, not knowing makes it scarier!

Thoughts and theories:
-Clara is now all over the Doctor’s timeline, right from his childhood. However, he never actually sees her this time, so I have no problem with that. Yes, this makes Clara a very important companion. Perhaps the most important. Again, I have no problem with this. It doesn’t change how I feel about her, for better or worse.
-Why did the Doctor suddenly think this all up? I guess because he’s 2000 years old, a bit mad, and seemingly has been off travelling on his own, without Clara, for a while? I guess it doesn’t really matter, does it? It made for a great frickin’ story.
-Why was the TARDIS able to land on time-locked Gallifrey? I think for a couple of reasons. 1) The safeguards were off. 2) Gallifrey itself isn’t time locked. Only Gallifrey during the Time War is.
-I’m hearing that some people are saying the little boy in the bed wasn’t the Doctor, but the Master as a child. To those I say, “WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K?! What show were you watching, because it sure wasn’t this episode!”
-No Missy/Promised Land in this episode. I’m okay with that, too.

Best lines:
Why do you have three mirrors? Why don’t you just turn your head?

What’s wrong with your face, it’s all eyes, why are you all eyes?! Get them under control!

She’s doing to all eyes thing, it’s because her face is so wide, she needs three mirrors.


What’s that in the mirror, or the corner of your eye,
Footsteps following, but never passing by,
Perhaps they’re all just waiting,
Perhaps when we’re all dead,
Out they’ll come a’slithering,
From underneath the bed.

Okay, now go watch the trailer for Time Heist, and we’ll meet back here in a week! 


Saturday, 6 September 2014

Doctor Who: Robot of Sherwood



A fun, light-hearted romp. That’s the way this episode will be described. And I guess it was. I mean, it’s amusing, if kinda boring.  The banter between Robin and the Doctor, while funny at first, got old and tired quickly.

I’m still waiting to be knocked off my feet. I really miss episodes like Blink, 42, Turn Left, Silence in the Library, Human Nature…When do we get those types of episodes back?


I have HUGE hopes for next week’s Listen. The things I’m hearing put it on par, or even above the previously mentioned episodes. 

I truly hope so, because, man, I really miss the show I fell in love with.

Okay, on to Robot of Sherwood.


The Doctor asks Clara where she wants to go, and out of all of time and space, she chooses Sherwood forest. She wants to meet Robin Hood. Of course, the Doctor tells her that Robin Hood wasn’t a real person, but he takes her to the forest in 1190-ish AD anyway.


The Doctor is proven wrong when an arrow finds its way into the door of the TARDIS, and a rather attractive man presents himself as Robin Hood.


Robin decides that he wants the TARDIS, and he and the Doctor fight for it. The Doctor brandishes a…spoon? And Robin uses his sword.


Clara watches on gleefully, wearing a gorgeous red dress. And may I say that Mr. Gatiss, the writer of this episode, finally does Clara some justice? I enjoyed the way she was written, and I feel that she’s finally showing some strength and character! Well done, my good man!


The Doctor wins the spoon-fight, but he’s knocked into the water when Robin comes up behind him. 

Meanwhile, the evil Sheriff of Nottingham is kidnapping maidens, stealing gold, and killing townspeople. Y’know, like evil Sheriff’s do. 

Robin brings Clara and the Doctor to the Merry Hideout, and introduces them to his Merry Men. The Doctor spends that time trying to prove that the men aren’t actually real. I think it’s supposed to be funny? I didn’t find it funny.


Robin tells Clara about the Sheriff, Prince John, and the loss of his lands, titles, and his love, Marian. 

The Doctor comments on how warm and green Sherwood Forest is, considering it’s autumn. What are you getting at, Doctor? Hmm.

Robin, the Doctor, Clara and the Merry Men attend an archery contest, to win a golden arrow. No one actually wins the contest because they all just keep shooting arrows into the previous arrow and splitting the arrows….that’s a lot of arrows. And then the Doctor explodes the target with the sonic screwdriver. And then the Doctor, Clara and Robin are found out and tossed into the dungeons. But before that, Robin slices an arm off a knight, and discovers that it’s a robot. Did anyone else yell at the screen, “IT’S JUST A FLESH WOUND!”? 


Also, the robots shoot frickin’ laser beams out of their frickin’ heads, and they kill a labourer who’s working in the gold-counting-melting place as the kidnapped maiden cries. Who else figured out that she’s Maid Marian? Yaaaaay, we’re awesome at guessing stuff!


In the dungeon, the Doctor and Robin bicker, and this is by far the best part of the episode. Yes, it’s cheesy and corny, but it’s also frickin’ hilarious…at least until it gets boring.


Clara finally gets fed up and screams for them to shut up. IT’S ABOUT FRICKIN’ TIME.

After Clara finds out the neither of them have a plan—and good on her for calling out the over-use of the sonic screwdriver!—she’s taken to the Sheriff, because she’s quite obviously the true ringleader of the group.

Back with the labourers, we see that only gold is being melted down and crafted into…something.

In the dungeon, Robin comes up with a plan that gets them out of there. It fails, for the most part, but they do get free, eventually. This really wasn’t a funny or interesting bit. That’s why I’m glossing over it. 

Clara does some good guesswork and flattery, and wheedles the story out of the Sheriff. He tells her that he witnessed a spaceship crash and the robots promised him that he would rule the world if he helped them get their ship back up and running. 


The Doctor and Robin find the spaceship, and the Doctor discovers that it was headed for ‘The Promised Land’. Well. Isn’t that a freaking coincidence! 


The engines are damaged and leaking radiation, which is why the forest is still sunny and green. The Doctor even says that the Sheriff and Robin himself are illusions, created by the ship to blend in.



Now, here’s a sweet and touching bit. As the Doctor is showing Robin the ship’s memory banks, they see a wonderful thing—a photo of the Second Doctor, Patrick Troughton, before he was the Doctor!
Yes, he played Robin Hood before he was in Doctor Who! Patrick Troughton himself is now a part of Doctor Who canon, haha! 

As Robin and the Doctor argue about whether or not Robin is real, the Sheriff, Clara and the robot knights enter the ship. To escape, Robin grabs Clara and jumps out the window and into the water below. 


As the Doctor talks to the Sheriff, he realizes why they need the gold—they’re making a matrix out of gold, and that will help the ship to fly again. Oooookay. I’m gonna have to take their word for that, because it pretty much makes no sense to me at all.


The Doctor warns the Sheriff that there’s too much damage, and that he’s “stoking a giant bomb”. And then he’s knocked out.


He wakes with the labourers, and Maid Marian, who we’re not supposed to know is Maid Marian. The engines are starting, but the Doctor knows they don’t have enough power to make orbit. If the Sheriff tries to fly the ship, it’ll explode and wipe out most of England.


The labourers begin a revolt, and use gold platters to reflect the frickin’ laser beams back onto the robot knights, destroying them. The labourers all escape, and Marian kisses the Doctor’s cheek to thank him. His reaction is very sweet. He still doesn’t seem to realize that he IS a hero.


Clara wakes in the forest, with Robin and the Merry Men. She tells Robin everything she knows about the legend of Robin Hood. 


The Sheriff appears and he and the Doctor banter.  The Doctor tries to explain about the exploding thing, and mentions fake Robin Hood. The Sheriff denies that Robin is a robot, and the man himself shows up to save the day. 


Robin and the Sheriff fight and Robin uses the Doctor’s move on the Sheriff. The Sheriff falls to his death into the molten gold. 


The Doctor, Clara and Robin escape the ship just before it takes flight. The Doctor knows there’s no way the ship will make it into orbit, and the three of them work together shoot the golden arrow—which the merry men happen to have on them—into the ship. WHY THE HELL DID THAT EVEN WORK NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE.


Regardless of why it works, the ship makes it into orbit, where it promptly explodes. 

With the world saved, Clara says goodbye to Robin. And then the Doctor says goodbye to Robin after Robin says some nice, touching words and stuff. 

The Doctor enters the TARDIS and tells Clara he’s leaving a present for Robin…iThe TARDIS dematerializes, and there’s Maid Marian. D’AWW, YOU GUYS TWU WUV! Then there’s smooching, and arrows shot into the air, and THE END.


So, yeah. This was better than the first two episodes, but still pretty meh.


But guys. GUYS. DID YOU EVEN SEE THAT FRICKIN’ TRAILER FOR NEXT WEEK?!?! OH MY GOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD. 

Guys, this could be the big one. THIS COULD BE IT. THE BEST SINCE BLINK. 
I HAVE HOPE!




Okay, thoughts and  theories:


Robot of Sherwood was very much like Deep Breath—Robots from the future, trying to repair ship to get to the Promised Land.


What was the Doctor calculating on the chalkboard at the beginning?


Why are the robots trying to get to the Promised Land? 


What and where is the Promised Land?!


Who is Missy?! Could she be Clara? (*gasp!*)


Best Lines: 


“And do people ever punch you in the face when you do that?”


“When did you start believing in impossible heroes?” 

“Don’t you know?”

“Shut it, Hoody.”


The whole first dungeon scene between Robin and the Doctor.


See you all next week, for what I hope is the BEST EPISODE, EVAR! 




Monday, 1 September 2014

Doctor Who: Into The Dalek



Well then. Episode two. Um, again, I feel like we’ve seen this before…when it was called Dalek, and it was much, much better.

Although Capaldi is still brilliant, and I LOVE Danny Pink, I gotta say this is another fail for me. But I have very, very high hopes that things will go up from here!

On with the recap!

In space, a small ship is being attacked by a huge Dalek ship. A man appears dead in one seat, as a woman navigates in another. Just as the small ship explodes, the woman wakes on the TARDIS. The Doctor, holding a tray of coffee, explains that he saved her life.

The woman introduces herself as Journey Blue (yeah, there’s a note about THAT in the thoughts below!), and points her gun at him. She demands that she be taken back to her command ship, but the Doctor makes her ask nicely. She eventually does.

Once on the Aristotle, Journey’s superiors are going to kill the Doctor because he ‘might be a duplicate’. Journey talks them out of it by telling them that the Doctor is a doctor. Apparently they have a patient…

While walking to meet the patient, the Doctor sees that they have a machine that shrinks surgeons so that they can enter the patient and fix them from the inside. Do you guys see where this is going now? Interesting!

The Doctor finally meets his patient….and it’s a Dalek.

At Coal Hill School, which is a wonderful homage to classic Who, a handsome man is teaching a phys ed class. After the class is dismissed, he walks into the office where a very strange receptionist has a very strange conversation with him. That was a really pointless scene…but did anyone else notice that the student in the scene is the same student in Clara’s memories in the last episode? I’m thinking she might be important…

Later in a classroom, a student asks if the teacher has ever killed anyone. The teacher explains that he used to be a soldier, and talks around the answer. The student then asks if the teacher has ever killed anyone who wasn’t a soldier. The teacher doesn’t answer, but a single tear rolls down his cheek. WTF is that all about?!

In the staff room, Clara and Danny Pink are introduced, and after beating around the bush for like, hours, they make a date to go for a drink that night.

Clara leaves Danny’s classroom and enters a closet, where the Doctor is waiting with coffee. Apparently he left to get it 3 weeks ago, but got distracted.

They enter the TARDIS and bicker a bit. The Doctor then gets serious and asks her if he’s a good man. Clara says she doesn’t know. He then takes her to the Aristotle.

Flashing back to the Doctor meeting his patient, the Dalek, the soldiers explain that they thought it was deactivated until it started screaming. The Dalek is very much broken, as the Doctor realizes when it says that, “Daleks must be destroyed.”

The Doctor explains this to Clara, and emphasizes that there’s no such thing as a good Dalek.

The Doctor, Clara, Journey and two other soldiers are shrunk and put inside the Dalek.
To get where they need to go, one of the soldiers fires grappling hooks into the Dalek. This, of course, causes the Dalek pain, which in turn, sends antibodies to fight the thing that’s making the pain.
This Doctor—this much colder and meaner Doctor—doesn’t even try to save the soldier since, “he was dead already”. Instead, he ensures that they can track the dead…um…body?
They all jump down into the people-goo, which is the safest place inside a Dalek because, "nobody guards the dead.”

As they continue through the Dalek, the Doctor discovers that it has a radiation leak, and it’s being poisoned.

The Doctor asks the Dalek what made it change, and it replies, “I saw beauty.” It explains that it saw a star being born, and it realized that resistance to life is futile.

The Doctor seals the leak with his sonic screwdriver, and, surprise, surprise, the Dalek once again turns evil. It rolls through the Aristotle, exterminating and destroying everything in its way. It contacts the Dalek fleet and the rest of the Daleks begin to arrive on the ship.

Inside the Dalek, the Doctor gloats about being right. There are no good Daleks. Clara slaps the Doctor….WHAT THE HELL?! NOT OKAY.

She’s angry with him for gloating, and explains that they’ve learned something. It takes a moment, but the Doctor understands what she’s trying to teach him.

Journey has orders to destroy the Dalek, but she allows the Doctor the chance to do what he needs to do.

The Doctor realizes that a good Dalek is possible, and that it only needs to see and feel what it saw and felt before to be good again. Clara is volunteered, and she figures out that she has to crawl through the Dalek’s memory and relight anything that’s suppressed.

To get to the memories, the soldier that’s not Journey sacrifices herself to the antibodies, and asks that something good be named after her in turn. I bet that’ll happen in future episode. And it’ll be cool. And I’ll probably cry.

When Gretchen dies, she ends up in heaven, with Missy….WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! WHO THE HELL IS MISSY?! WHAT IS THIS PLOT?!

Clara succeeds in turning on all of the memories, and the Dalek remembers beauty. When the Doctor connects himself with the Dalek, he hopes that it’ll help the Dalek see more beauty. Instead, the Dalek sees the Doctor’s hatred of the Daleks, and it latches on to that. It once again believes that the Daleks are evil and must be destroyed, but this time it’s through hatred and not beauty. The Doctor hasn’t succeeded in making a good Dalek.  It 
exterminates all of the other Daleks on the Aristotle and makes the Dalek ship believe that the Aristotle has issued a self-destruct sequence.

The Dalek returns to the Dalek ship to finish his new job.

The Doctor and Clara are about to leave, when Journey asks him to take her with them. He tells her that he’s sure she’s an okay person…but she’s still a soldier. They leave without her.
Clara changes her clothes and the Doctor drops her off in the closet, ten seconds after she left. Danny sees her exiting, and, of course, notices her clothes.

So, yeah. Another not-great episode, in my opinion. Bad writing, the plot was all over the place, some scenes weren’t needed, others didn’t make sense. This isn’t the Doctor Who I love, that’s for sure.

I have really high hopes for episode 3, and I hear AMAZING things about episode 4. Let’s keep our fingers crossed!

Thoughts and theories:
-Why does this Doctor have an issue with soldiers?
-Will he have an issue with Danny, a former soldier?
-Danny Pink/Journey Blue. Pink and Blue. Could Danny be Journey’s dead brother?
-What the heck is happening with Missy and heaven?! Why are all these people going there? And Why THESE people?
-Who did Danny kill?

Best Lines:
“Fantastic idea for a movie. Terrible idea for a proctologist.”
“This is gun-girl. She’s got a gun and she’s a girl.”
“She’s my carer. She cares so I don’t have to.”
“I am not a good Dalek. YOU are a good Dalek.”

I’d love to hear your thoughts and theories!


See everyone next week!


Saturday, 23 August 2014

Doctor Who: Deep Breath



So. That happened.

Guys, I’m one of the biggest Doctor Who fans around, and I wanted to come in here gushing and screaming about the new season. I really did. I mean, I was so excited all day. It was Doctor Who day, and I spent all day in front of my TV, watching last season before the Deep Breath premiere.

I’m so sad to have to tell you…I can’t gush. I can’t scream. I actually pretty much hated this premiere. In my opinion, this was the worst premiere of the New Who.

I mean, haven’t we seen this exact episode before? Only then it was called The Girl in the Fireplace, and it had better writing, better directing, better editing…and Madame du Pompadour. And no Clara. Ugh, Clara.

WHY does Moffat insist on writing her so badly? Must she always need saving? Why is she such a shallow character?! And really, it’s all about her when the Doctor regenerates? The guy is confused and going through hell, and Clara’s all, “me, me, me!” Grr.

I will say, however, that Capaldi was a bright light that shone through the horribleness. When he flapped his jacket and asked, “What do you think?” That EXACT moment was when he became the Doctor to me. I’m so glad it didn’t take long. Heck, it took me 8 or 9 episodes to love Eccleston!

Okay, on to the episode itself! Here we go!

Victorian London. A huge t-rex is wandering the city. But it’s okay! Vastra, Jenny and Strax are on the case!

How did the dinosaur get to Victorian London? Well, we figure that out when it coughs up the TARDIS.

Out pops the Doctor—the NEW Doctor, and he’s still very much confused. Out pops Clara, who’s also very confused. And upset. And then the Doctor faints.

Queue the new opening credits. I love them. They’re really, really well done. They’re modern, and just really cool.

So we go on for a while—much like what happened in Tennant’s first episode--with the Doctor being confused and crazy. It’s boring, and old.

Clara, much like Rose in Tennant’s first episode, wants to change the Doctor back into the man he was. Vastra gets pissed at Clara and gives her hell. Basically the lizard lady tells Clara to grow up, he’s not her boyfriend, he trusts her, and now he has a real, true face, and not one he’s hiding behind to make people accept him.

Clara argues back, Jenny claps at Clara, and the Doctor writes in chalk on the floor of the bedroom for some reason. I get that that’s going to become his “thing”, but I didn’t get the point of it in this episode.

Oh, and then there are also clockwork robots. Yep, kinda like the ones in The Girl in the Fireplace. And these clockwork-type robots are also cutting up people—and dinosaurs?-- for parts to improve themselves. Déjà vu much?

The Doctor escapes out a window, because the door is too boring for him, and watches as the dinosaur spontaneously combusts for no apparent reason.

He steals a horse and goes galloping through London in his nightshirt, and the Paternoster’s and Clara also head to the scene of the dinosaur’s death.

The Doctor is very upset that the dinosaur died, and after Vastra tells him there have been similar deaths, he jumps into the Thames to, um..try to solve the crime? Okay, I have no idea why he jumped into the Thames. Because he’s still confused and crazy, I guess.

The next day, Clara finds a message in the paper to “the impossible girl”. She figures out the code, and she and the Doctor meet at a restaurant.

The two have a heated exchange—Clara’s acting like a child, and the Doctor is trying to make her see his side of things when he realizes they’re not in a normal restaurant. The restaurant is full of non-breathing clockwork robot-things.

And they also realize that neither of them placed the ad in the newspaper for them to meet.
Clara and the Doctor are trapped and taken under the restaurant. After an obligatory former companion reference—Amy is mentioned—they escape with the help of his sonic screwdriver, and the Doctor leaves Clara to fend for herself after they’re separated by a door.

Clara can’t hold her breath long enough, and she’s caught. Luckily, she still knows the Doctor, and he still has her back. Too bad she wouldn’t have his now that he’s old.
The Doctor saves Clara, as always, and when she says the code word (Geronimo!), the Paternoster’s glide (and fall) down from above.

The Doctor goes after the clockwork leader’s escape capsule as Clara and the Paternoster’s fight the rest.

The escape capsule is the restaurant, powered by a human skin balloon, and the Doctor makes many references to everything being very familiar. Again, déjà vu, much?

The Paternoster’s and Clara are overwhelmed, and very quickly losing the battle. The Doctor, after listening to the clockwork robot talk about reaching “paradise” and the “promised land”, flings open the restaurant doors and the two struggle.

Down below, after a beautiful Vastra/Jenny kiss, the rest of the clockwork robots fall still, dead.

And above, the clockwork leader is seen impaled on the spire of a building.

The Paternoster’s and Clara return home to find the TARDIS gone. Clara has given up hope of his return, but of course, the Doctor comes back for her.

Once aboard the TARDIS, the Doctor and companion realize that there’s a woman out there who’s trying very hard to keep them together. The woman who placed the ad in the paper, who’s probably the same woman from the shop who gave Clara the Doctor’s number so many months ago.

Alas, Clara makes the decision to go home, and stop travelling with a Doctor she no longer knows.

But, wait…things are about to change for her, and for us, forever. All the feels happen when the Eleventh Doctor phones Clara from Trenzalore, just before he regenerates. He asks her for help, and tells her he’s scared. Him, as in the new Doctor he’s become. He knows she’s afraid too, but he’s still himself, and she just needs to look to see that. I sobbed. I SOBBED. Yes, yes, this was a total fanwank scene, but it was really lovely. It was a lovely way for us, and for Clara, to say goodbye to Eleven, and finally welcome Twelve in the way he deserves to be welcomed.

The following scene is brilliant. Capaldi is brilliant. “I’m right here. Standing right in front of you.” Welcome, Mr. Capaldi. You *are* the Doctor, and you’re wonderful.

But, of course, this couldn’t be a Moffat-run show without a season-long story arc. Le sigh.
Apparently this season’s arc is…heaven? Someone named Missy—oh, the River Song fans are going to go wild with speculation now! Is she…? Isn’t she…? Is that the CAL? Ahhh, is River still alive?! 
Or: OMG MISSY = MISTRESS = MASTER, MISSY IS THE MASTER!
OR: Rani. Gotta be the Rani. Right? I'm right, right? Guys? Guys?

Bah. Bah, I say.

So the clockwork guy wakes up in heaven, where Missy greets him and apologizes for her ‘boyfriend’.

Some thoughts:
-I’m so very glad Capaldi was able to keep his accent.
-So, why the Doctor choose that face? What is he trying to tell himself? We, of course, know he saw it in Pompeii .
-Did the Doctor push the clockwork dude? I think he did. I think this is a much darker Doctor, and a much more ruthless Doctor.
-Who’s Missy? Is that really heaven? What does that have to do with anything?

Best lines:
“Who frowned me this face?”
“These are attack eyebrows”
 “Oh! You’ve got a dinosaur too!”
 “Don’t look in that mirror! It’s furious!”
“Door. Boring. Not me.”
“I don’t think that I’m a hugging person now.”
And pretty much everything that came out of Strax’s mouth.

Okay, guys, tell me how wrong I am about this episode. I completely expect to be yelled at and told how crazy I am for disliking it as much as I did. But don’t forget to tell me WHY you liked it, too.


See you here next week for, Into the Dalek


Saturday, 2 August 2014

Guardians of the Galaxy-- My Thoughts




Okay, so when I saw the first trailer for this movie, I was sure I was going to hate it. It looked stupid, with crude, dumb humour. Not like my type of movie at all. I had no desire to see it whatsoever.

And then the advanced screenings began to happen, and friends I knew and trusted were raving about it. They were telling me that I HAD to see it, and that it was exactly my type of movie.

I thought they were insane.

But on their word, I decided to go. I won't lie, I went into it expecting to hate it... I  was almost WANTING to hate it.
And until about halfway through, although I didn't HATE it, I wasn't as impressed as everyone told me I would be.

I don't know when it happened, or why things changed or even HOW it changed, but it did. Magic happened. And it was wonderful.

I loved this movie, you guys. I'll even go as far as to say I loved it more than I loved Avengers. I know, I know, I'm shocked too!

This story was amazing. It was perfectly touching, emotional, and funny as HELL. It was clever, fun, wild and full of action.

The cast was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Karen Gillan and, very surprisingly, David Bautista were the ones who killed it on screen. Gillan was BAD. ASS. Bautista was just awesome.

Rocket was HILARIOUS, and not at all cheesy or corny, like I expected him to be.

And Groot...My god, who knew that I could literally fall in love with a tree who only says 3 little words.
I am Groot. Sweet, wonderful, touching, beautiful Groot.
I need to get my hands on every Groot comic now, so I know more about him.

Rooker was Rooker. Always great. Always fun. Always with that tiny little bit of heart to his maniacal characters. And always calling someone, "Boy". ;)

Chris Pratt, who I don't know from anything but this movie, was adorable.

And Lee Pace was frickin' fantastic.

I was proud of myself for finally being able to kind of follow along with the tie-ins with other movies and shows. For instance, I was familiar with the Kree in this movie, because of Agents of SHIELD. I remembered Thanos from Avengers. So, yay, me.

The soundtrack was unbelievable, and I'll be purchasing it as soon as I hit 'post' on this blog. The music almost made this movie what it was. Without the music, I don't think it would have meshed as well as it did. The music was almost a whole other character, and it was perfect.

James Gunn, although I know you'll never read this, I want to apologize to you. I'm so, so sorry for judging this movie as wrongly as I did. I'm so sorry for not giving it, and you, the benefit of the doubt.

Gunn made this movie magical. He used the cheese and turned it on itself to make the cheese hilarious, or touching, or sad. He knew exactly what to do with a brilliant script.

And guys. Guys. The after credits scene? EFFING PERFECTION.

GO SEE THIS MOVIE RIGHT NOW.

The end. ;)

Monday, 30 June 2014

TV Recap: Penny Dreadful-- Grand Guignol

Photo courtesy of Showtime

It’s been a short, great 8 weeks, you guys! This series sucked me in from the get-go, and it wasn’t at all what I thought it would be…it was BETTER!

We saw Eva Green amaze us, we fell in love with one of Frankenstein’s monsters, and we despised another. We gave our hearts to a pretty boy that seemingly never ages, and became intrigued with a gunslinger from the wild west. We’ve hunted vampires, searched faces for werewolves, not talked about dog-rat fight clubs, and squealed at body parts strewn across a room. You guys, what a journey it’s been!

Now, we come to the end of season one, and I have a feeling that THIS is going to top every damn thing we’ve seen so far.

Ready? Here we go!

We begin where last week ended, with Vanessa and Malcolm discussing Mina. They make plans to try to find her that evening. As Malcolm exits, Dorian enters.

Eager Dorian, trying so hard to please and impress. Vanessa’s not having it. It’s actually kinda unattractive. Stoppit, Dorian.

Over at Brona’s, she’s not doing well at all. Chandler is by her bedside, crying and praying. Outside, we see two men who are apparently there for Chandler. They lurk in the shadows, waiting for the right time to strike…

Malcolm decides to go shopping, and purchases one of the first automatic weapons ever made. The bullets will stop an elephant, which is good because the Master is WAY scarier than an elephant. Like, WAAAAAY scarier.

As Malcolm is finishing his gun business, he runs into Madame Kali—who’s going by her true name, Evelyn  The two do some flirting. It’s weird. I don’t like her. She’s fishy.

At the theater, rehearsals are happening, but Caliban screws up. The star gets pissed, and he gets all mean with Caliban. Jerk.

Caliban gets sad…did anyone else think he was going to break into song on that stage? I mean, he kept looking up, like he was reflecting. I really expected a song to begin! Penny Dreadful, The Musical! OMG, I’D WATCH THE SHIT OUTTA THAT.

Caliban goes back to lurking under the stage, and Maude stops by to bring him an orange. He quotes Paradise Lost lines at her. She has no idea what he’s even saying. She just likes oranges, dude.

Maude apologizes for her boyfriend’s meanness, and then kisses Caliban on the forehead. Oh, girl. That was a hugely bad move. See, now Cali’s going to think Maude LIKE-likes him, when she really only sees him the same way she sees her poor burned, disfigured brother. So, is Caliban going to demand Victor make Maude his bride now? Let’s see!

Back at Malcolm’s, he’s playing with his gun. You guys, I’m not doing this again this week! YOU HAVE DIRTY MINDS.

He and Vanessa get into a tiff, and he basically tells her that he’s using her for her connection to Mina, and that he’ll sacrifice her in a heartbeat if need be. Way to be honest there, Sir Malcolm! Man, she just got over being possessed, y’know. You could be a little easier on her for a while!

Again at the theater—man, we’re jumping all over the damn place tonight—Caliban, um…does his makeup? Yeah, see what you did, Maude?! I knew this was gonna happen!

Caliban definitely took Maude’s forehead kiss the wrong way, and Maude is now incredibly creeped out. I mean, his makeup is HIDEOUS. Dude needs lessons. Someone should tell him that Sephora gives them....er, wait. There was no Sephora in nineteenth century England. Nevermind.

So Maude freaks out, Caliban pretty much attacks her, and he’s kicked out of the theater/his home.
Vincent says goodbye with a hug, and with that, my Jekyll/Hyde theory goes out the window. I was sure that Vincent was Jekyll. Damn! WHAT A LET DOWN. L

OHHHH, DID YOU SEE THAT, THO?! The Master is sleeping up in the theater rafters! THAT WAS CREEPY.

Vanessa and Dorian meet in the greenhouse. Vanessa’s all, “Dude, I guess I should explain why I ran off, huh? Y’see, when we boinked, it made the devil possess me, and we can’t boink anymore.”

Dorian’s like, “Nono, it’s all good. I’m not afraid. It’s all good, bae.”

Vanessa goes, “DUDE. NOT KIDDING HERE. I was LITERALLY the devil. It SUCKED. But here, have a kiss, and this is called rejection, and you need to be feeling that right now because, BURN, I’m totally rejecting you.”

So Dorian’s all, “OMGWTFBBQ?! I HAZ A SAD WAT IS DIS WET ON MAH FACE?!”

And then Dorian was crying and my loins were all, “OHMYGAWD TAKE ME INSTEAD I LOVE YOU MORE THAN SHE EVER WILL SHE’S A HARPY.”

But then my brain was like, “Um, idiot, it’s a frickin’ TV SHOW. He can’t even hear you, shut up.”

And that’s what happened. CRAZY, RITE?!

Oh, hi, Victor! Apparently Caliban went home, because he’s at Victor’s place. And then, wow. Wow. That speech. It literally brought me to tears. Just when I think I hate him with a passion I’ve never known, he goes and speaks so beautifully and sadly and eloquently. The writers on this show are a cut above. That was absolutely stunning.

Of course, Victor is also smitten with Caliban’s words, and he puts away the gun he has taken out. He even starts to comfort Caliban, when he’s interrupted by Chandler knocking on the door. Hmm, I wonder what he could want?!

Okay, you guys I think I have a problem, and his name is Eddie Redmayne. I apparently see the guy EVERYWHERE, and tonight’s episode was no different. Didn’t Victor seem a bit Eddie Redmayne-like to you?! He’s my boyfriend, you know. Eddie Redmayne. SHUT UP HE IS TOO MY BOYFRIEND. I wonder why the hell I see him in so many freaking actors all the time. THAT’S WEIRD.

Okay, so Chandler brings Victor to Brona’s, and SHIT GOES DOWN. Victor KILLS Brona while Chandler is out of the room. THAT’S INTENSE. I did NOT even see that coming at all!

But it looks like our theory was right! Brona is about to become a bride!

Heartbroken-Chandler finds the nearest bar, and his American stalkers find him. Those guys are in trooouuuuuuble. Chandler’s going to put the hurt on them, and also he might eat them!

The stalkers explain that they’re Pinkerton men, hired by Chandler’s pops to bring him home. Duh. No shit.
Yep, Chandler beats the crap out of both men, “We have underestimated our prey, Mr. Kidd.” Hahahahaha, y’think?!

Sad Chandler is sad, and he takes a minute to calm himself outside the theater. Close to wolfing-out, perhaps? 

The rest of the Scoobies arrive, and they enter the theater. They wander around in the dark, because apparently all of the lamps are taken home after closing time?

It’s all creepy and spooky, until their light shines on the Master, he wakes up, and the battle begins!

Chandler falls through the trap door in the stage, and Sembene and Victor follow him down. The three men do battle under the stage with the creepy white-haired vamps, as Malcolm battles the Master in the rafters.
Guns are blazing, Sembene’s wicked knife is slashing, Victor is trying his best not to freak out and keep up, but the white-vamps overwhelm the under-stage trio! Is this their end?! Must we say goodbye to our trio?! BUT WAIT!

In the rafters, Malcolm pulls out his sword and STABS the Master, saving Vanessa! The Master falls to the stage, but he’s not yet dead! Malcolm scrambles after the head vampire, and once again stabs him through the heart! After a few final gasps, the Master dies…and with him, all of the white-vamps surrounding our trio!

THE SCOOBIES ARE SAVED! MALCOLM THE EFFING VAMPIRE SLAYER!

Mina comes out of the shadows, and it’s a wonderful reunion! Mina is saved, everyone will live happily ever…..oh. Well, shit. Mina is a vampire.

She takes Vanessa and tells her father how awesome life will be when they’re all vampires and living with the Master.

HOLY CRAP, SO THAT VAMP WASN’T THE MASTER! There’s still some head-vamp out there. IT’S DRACULA, I KNOW IT IS.

Mina is about to bite Vanessa, when Malcolm shoots her. WHHHHHAAAAAAAT?!

Mina exclaims, “I am your daughter!”

Malcolm, in a wonderfully touching moment, looks over to Vanessa and says, “I already have a daughter.”, and shoots Mina dead. WELL HOLY. CRAP.

Later at Malcolm’s, he and Vanessa cry and hug and mourn. He’s not going to Africa, and now they need to get a Christmas tree. It’s very sad. I need a hug.

Victor? Oh, he’s back at his lab, creating a bride for his monster. Out of Brona’s dead corpse.

And Chandler? Well, he’s drinking again, and the Pinkerton men find him, again. But it’s okay, because HE FUCKING WOLFS OUT AND KILLS EVERYONE, AND I WAS SCREAMING AND LAUGHING BECAUSE I’M APPARENTLY A VERY DISTURBED INDIVIDUAL AND I WAS SO RIGHT ABOUT HIM HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Crap, sorry about that. I get a bit excited sometimes…

In the end, Malcolm allows himself to feel his guilt.

Chandler once again wakes up under the pier, and we now know that he is indeed the ripper.

And Vanessa goes to church to talk exorcisms, but instead faces a question: Does she really want to be normal?

WHAT A FINALE! I thought it was the perfect end to a really amazing first season. It was more low-key than most season finales, but I’m okay with that because we got SO many crazy episodes, especially the penultimate (goddamn I love that word) episode. I’m almost grateful for a quiet finale after that insane, fast-paced, dark and disturbing thing!

So let’s look forward to season 2. What should we expect?

-Brona will come back, but she won’t have her memories. I think she’ll have flashes, but she won’t remember Chandler until they actually see each other. And they WILL see each other.
-Chandler will still love Brona, monster and all. He did say to her that he’d love her, no matter who she became, right?
-Maybe a fight for Brona, between Chandler and Caliban?
-We’ll (hopefully) find out how Chandler could remove Vanessa’s demon with a necklace and a prayer?
-Vanessa will have to decide; exorcism or not. I bet she chooses exorcism, but of course, it won’t work for a long while, if at all.
-We WILL finally meet the Master, who will be Dracula. And he’ll be pissed.
-Perhaps a romance between Vanessa and Dracula?
-I have no idea what will happen with Victor, but I look forward to finding out!
-Yet another romance between Madame Kali and Malcolm? Perhaps.
-Chandler will try to get his wolf-side back under control. Perhaps he’ll tell Victor, who will help him?
-SEMBENE BACKSTORY PLEASE.
-Dorian. Wow, where will they take Dorian? We may catch a glimpse of his painting, but no more than that. There will definitely be another romance, so maybe they’ll bring in a new cast member? A witch? The mummy?  Bigfoot?

What are your theories for season two? And your thoughts about season one?

Thanks for sticking around and reading my little recaps, you guys! You were all really awesome, and it was a pleasure each week to talk to so many fun, friendly and like-minded Penny Dreadful lovers!


Until next season, always carry a stake…and a wicked-cool Sembene blade! You never know where you’ll meet the Master! ;)